Were You Ever Here At All?
by WillowEchoRiver
Summary: Companion piece to 'Who Were You and Where Are You' but you don't have to read that one to understand it. Spoilers for The Lost Hero. Annabeth is terrified of what might happen when they find Percy.


**Author's Note: This is a companion piece to my other story 'Who Were You and Where Are You?'. You don't need to read the other one to understand it, though I think they are better as a pair. It takes place after The Lost Hero, so that's all you really need to know about. If you haven't read The Lost Hero, don't read this! It contains spoilers!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson, and the title comes from "Your Face" by Taylor Swift. I don't own that either. It's a fantastic song though, you should look it up. It fits their situation well, I believe.**

**Were You Ever Here At All?**

The evening air should have felt warm and rich, the smell of strawberries wafting through the air cheerfully. But Annabeth only felt cold and ill.

She stood on the beach, feeling the wet sand beneath her toes and thinking of him. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of the saltwater in the summer air. She felt the ocean breeze tug at her blond curls as the waves wrapped around her feet. And if she tried, she could almost pretend he was standing right beside her.

Tomorrow, they would set forth on their quest to go to the Roman Camp. It could be dangerous, the two camps meeting. There could be blood. But she knew she would find him there. If that meant she was more terrified or less so, she wasn't sure. But feelings weren't her forte. She only knew he would be there, and that seemed to be all that mattered.

She felt a lump rise in her throat, it seemed her lungs were closing and for a moment she could hardly breathe. Tears filled, unbidden, in her eyes, and she blinked them back quickly. She couldn't cry. Not again. What good did it do?

She kicked at the water angrily, as if somehow disturbing the peace of the ocean would bring Percy back to her. But nothing could do that now. And the waves just settled back into their pattern as if she had changed nothing. As if they were telling her that she could do nothing. Nothing at all. It was hopeless.

She had always thought the ocean was a beautiful thing. It stretched on and on so far you couldn't tell where the blue of the ocean met the blue of the sky. At night it reflected the light of the moon and the whole world seemed to glow a rich blue. It was a mysterious beauty, the ocean. But mostly, it reminded her of him. And now all she could think was that she had lost him forever, even if she found him.

If he was just gone. If he was just kidnapped. That would be easy. They could save him from that.

But Annabeth knew that when they arrived at the Roman Camp, Percy would probably have no idea who she was. He might have met another girl. And they would have to start all over. She saw the way Jason and Piper acted together and couldn't help but think that Jason might have left behind a girl at the Roman Camp. Left her behind and fallen for Piper.

So what if Percy found someone else, too?

She remembered how upset she had been about Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Percy's friendship with her. She remembered feeling distressed because she had thought, '_He might choose her_.' She remembered her own pain when she had realized that Percy had been marooned on Calypso's island. Thinking that he would always love her. That Annabeth would never be able to compare.

But this was worse than that.

She hadn't thought so before, but there was something even more painful than fear. This hopeless feeling that clung to her all the time. She couldn't shake it off. She felt like she had lost everything. Being hopeless was worse than being afraid. At least when you were afraid it was because you _had _something to lose.

What did she have to hope for? He wouldn't remember her. And maybe he would like her, maybe they would be friends. But it would never be the same. She was left with all these memories of the times they had spent together. The times they had saved each other's lives, the times they'd been there for each other when everything else had seemed lost.

They had had each other then. But now all she had left were memories.

He was the better off of the two, she decided. At least he didn't have to remember what he had lost. But it would always be with her. If they found Percy, every time she saw him she would be reminded of what they once had. And he would never, ever remember. It was like her hopes and dreams were being dangled in front of her, but were just out of her reach. And every time she took a step forward, they were pulled a little further away.

That feeling of being unable to breathe returned, and she let out a strangled sob.

_Pull yourself together,_ she thought, _You are stronger than this._

But tears came anyway. And frantically she wiped at them, but they just kept coming. She gave up, eventually, and let her hands drop to her sides. The salty tears streaming down her face into the salty ocean.

Why did everyone have to leave her? And betray her? Every time she had thought she'd found family, something went wrong. Something _always_ went wrong. As a child, she had thought when her father and stepmother married she would be accepted, she would have a real family. She could be normal. But she had soon discovered that she wasn't wanted at home. So she ran away. One family lost. Then she had met Thalia and Luke, and she was sure that this time, she really did have a new family. But then Thalia was turned into a tree and she was lost. _At least I have Luke,_ she'd always thought. But Luke had been the worse loss yet, he'd betrayed them all. That was when she'd really felt maybe there was no such thing as family. Maybe it didn't exist. And if it did it was too fragile to matter. Too weak to last. So when she was friends with Grover, and Chiron treated her as a daughter, she wanted to call them her best friends. But no one was family. Family didn't count. Family didn't last.

And then Percy had come along and changed that. And suddenly they were all family. And everything was okay, even when it wasn't. Even when they were in trouble. They had each other's backs.

But she had lost Percy too. And this was far worse than losing Luke. Luke didn't matter, not compared to Percy.

She should have known all along that this would happen. Or, at least, something of the sort. After all, half bloods hardly ever had happy endings. Still, though, she had thought they were different. Because she was clever enough to get them out alive. Safe. Together.

But no amount of cleverness could help her now.

She closed her eyes, and for a moment, she thought she heard a desperate voice across the ocean pleading, "_Where are you?"_

It was his voice.

The sound of him calling filled her with a certain bravery. A courage. She had to help him. He needed her. It was him calling. She just knew it was him.

Her tears came to a sudden halt and her heart filled with a feeling she couldn't understand. It might have been joy. It might have been fear. But a smile spread across her face.

Because she had the unmistakable feeling that he was calling to _her._ Not a general call over the ocean, but a call to her.

Percy was looking for her.

She was looking for him, too.

Maybe she was a crazy person, but she was sure that Percy had called to her. It wasn't her imagination. And no amount of logic, or cleverness could convince her otherwise. Not now that she had _finally_ heard his voice again.

Another call resounded over the ocean, and her breath caught in her throat. "_Where are you?_" He begged.

Suddenly, she felt a desperate need to answer him. He had to know she heard. He had to know she was there.

"I am coming." She assured him, even though it might have been crazy. It might have been unwise. But it didn't matter.

"Annabeth?" She jumped, startled, when she heard Chiron calling her from somewhere far away.

She glanced behind her and sighed, considering just staying where she was. But he called again, "Annabeth!"

She hated to ignore the kind, old centaur, so she made her way up the beach, glancing behind her one more time. Because even while she missed the boy she loved, the old centaur was her family too.

And family stuck together.

At least now Percy knew that she was coming.

**Author's Note: I don't love this as much as I loved it's other half ('**_**Who Were You and Where Are You?'**_**) but I did enjoy writing this one, so I hope you liked it! I really cannot wait for The Son of Neptune. Please Review!**


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